People with Strong Communication Skills Speak in This Order

Original

Have you ever had such an experience? When chatting with some people, you feel extremely comfortable, just like the gentle breeze in spring caressing you, making you relaxed and happy. But when talking to others, you feel uneasy all over, not knowing whether to sit or stand, and even wishing to find a crack in the ground to hide. Many people have minor problems in communication. Some friends cannot figure out what the other person is talking about at all. Others talk with great enthusiasm, but are completely confused themselves. Some friends just focus on talking themselves, chattering like a machine gun, but their expressive ability is really not good. What they think in their hearts is completely different from what they say. Finally, they leave the other person confused, and they themselves get anxious. In fact, in communication, the language itself is not complicated. The truly crucial thing is the order of speaking. Communication masters are really amazing. They seem to be able to see through others' minds, accurately grasp the other person's psychology, and speak according to the logic that the other person is willing to accept. Not only can they make others understand at once, but they can also make others recognize from the bottom of their hearts. To put it bluntly, communication is all about what to say first and what to say later. So, what is the order of speaking for real communication masters?

First, Listen and Understand Before Expressing Opinions

Communication masters know that listening is the foundation of communication. Before opening their mouths, they will patiently listen to the other person finish speaking and try to understand the other person's thoughts and feelings. Just like when we watch a TV drama, we have to understand the plot first before we can express our opinions. When you listen carefully, you can not only obtain key information, but also make the other person feel respected. For example, in the workplace, a colleague complained to you about the heavy workload and great pressure. At this time, a communication master will not immediately retort, "What's so difficult about this? I think it's quite easy." Instead, they will listen to the colleague pour out their grievances first, and then say, "I can understand how you feel now. The tasks recently have been really arduous, and everyone is under a lot of pressure. I also encountered a similar situation before, and later I found that we can try to do this..." You see, by expressing understanding first and then giving your own suggestions, the other person is more likely to accept them, and the communication atmosphere will be more harmonious. If you deny the other person right from the start, the communication is likely to break down.

Second, Affirm and Agree First, Then Put Forward Suggestions

No one likes to be criticized and denied, and communication masters understand this well. When communicating, they first identify the parts of the other person's opinion worthy of affirmation, give approval, and then gently offer their own suggestions. For example, when discussing a project plan with a friend, the friend comes up with an idea. Although it is not perfect, a communication master will first affirm, "Your idea is really innovative. Considering it from this perspective can indeed discover some new opportunities. However, I think the implementation part may need to be further improved. For example, we can increase some market research, so that the plan will be more feasible." Such an order of speaking not only takes care of the other person's feelings, but also can express your own opinion effectively, making the other person more willing to think about and accept your suggestions. If you start by nitpicking and saying that your friend's plan is not good here and there, your friend will likely feel uncomfortable, and the communication effect will be greatly reduced.

Third, State the Result First, Then Explain the Reasons

When conveying important information or reporting work, communication masters tend to state the result clearly first, and then elaborate on the reasons and process in detail. This is because people are all concerned about the final result of things. Stating the result first can quickly capture the other person's attention and give the other person a clear idea. Imagine that you are reporting work to your leader. If you start by talking endlessly about all kinds of details in the work process, the leader may become impatient. But if you say first, "Leader, we completed this project ahead of schedule and exceeded the expected goal. The sales volume increased by 20% compared with the original plan. This is mainly because we adopted a new marketing strategy and the efficient collaboration of the team members..." The leader will definitely look at you with new eyes. Stating the result first can let the other person quickly understand the core content, and listening to the reasons later will be more targeted, and the communication efficiency will also be greatly improved.

Fourth, State the Facts First, Then Express Feelings

When we need to express different opinions or deal with conflicts, communication masters will first state the objective facts and then express their own feelings. This can make it easier for the other person to accept and avoid unnecessary conflicts. For example, if you have a conflict with your roommate because of the hygiene problem, if you start by accusing, "Why are you so slovenly? The room is in a mess, and I cannot stand it anymore!" Your roommate will definitely be irritated. But if you say, "In the past few days, the garbage in the living room hasn't been taken out in time, and the floor is also a bit dirty. This makes me feel a little uncomfortable, and it's not very convenient for me to live. How about we discuss a way to take turns cleaning?" By stating the facts first, you make it impossible for the other person to refute. Then, by expressing your feelings, you can make the other person better understand your position and find a solution to the problem together.

Sincere Words

Speaking is not merely a means of communication; it is a fine art, and the order in which we convey our thoughts is the very essence that breathes life into this art. People with strong communication skills really pay attention to the order of speaking. Real communication masters don't just pour out words continuously, but know how to lay the groundwork step by step and gradually make their opinions deeply rooted in others' hearts. Listening and understanding first, affirming and agreeing first, stating the result first, and stating the facts first, these seemingly simple orders of speaking can greatly improve the communication effect. Everyone, when communicating in the future, we might as well try these methods, and maybe we'll get unexpected rewards.